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| The Man of the Hour or Three (Image source:philstar.com) |
So, the Season of the SONA is over, and everything is back to the way it should be; lifeless, meaningless pit of existence inside a country possibly run by idiots. Many have reacted either positively or negatively towards PNoy and his words of non-wisdom, a traditional ritual performed by both the intellectual and the stupid Filipinos. Intellectual Filipinos do it because they have valid arguments against PNoys address, while stupid Filipinos do it because they are stupid. I will let you decide or know which side are you on.
If you actually read anything in this worthless site, you might think that I would post my own reactions to the SONA. I'm actually not going to because I haven't even watched it. Recently, my sleeping pattern is in utter chaos, and I slept through the SONA despite the fact that I already slept 10 hours last night. To be fair, even without sleeping problems, I would still sleep through the entire address. Even if I start watching it right now, it would take very long for me to actually write about it, and by the time I would've posted it, the interest on the topic would've been gone and the opportunity is lost.
So, to make up after lost time, I decided to react to something about the SONA, but not what is in it. I am talking about what is surrounded by it: clothing. Yes, clothing, the only thing that gets more expensive as it grows less material. Whenever a SONA comes up, politicians and celebrities treat it as a red carpet premiere. I consider it as a litmus for the subject's vanity and avarice/ Think about it: if the clothing is more flashy and expensive, he/she has committed TWO capital sins, as taught by the Catholic Church.
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| Red Carpet of the Politically Inept (Image source: interaksyon.com) |
You might be wondering as to why I'm writing about the fashion of SONA? It is because I can't wrap my head around to accepting the fact that this is still a thing in our country. It's just like beauty pageant, they are only good for making others feel bad about their appearances AND their social status. Why do we still have beauty pageants? The only people watching them are either horny men or women who are self-conscious about their appearance.
All I'm saying is that there is no need to make a big deal about wearing the most expensive dress and showing it off against other old men with or without knowledge of the lawmaking process. Oh, your dress is made by an international fashion designer and has jewel encrusted into it? My clothes was handmade by children in a sweat shop, and I don't even know if it's true or not. Either way, I don't make a big deal about my clothes, but now that I think about it, maybe I should.
But if they really want us to make a big deal about this, then fine. An article by ABS-CBN News, a FREAKING NEWS ARTICLE, lists the top 10 best dressed women of the SONA 2015, and I will give my honest reactions about them. Here it goes:
1.) Kris Aquino
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| Image source: ABSCBNNews.com |
Of course it is. The biggest star of ABS-CBN ranks first in ABS-CBN's top 10 best dressed women. I am not surprised. She won last year as well, despite the fact that last year she resembled an over rotten banana. This year, her dress resembles a 5000 year old statue repeatedly slammed by waves of sea water. This completely resembles my respect for her as whatever her current occupation is.
2.) Dawn Zulueta
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| Image source: ABSCBNNews.com |
Ok, I have forgotten who she is. Despite that, love the rose on the shoulders. However, you still dress like an '80s James Bond movie supervillain's fiance. Grow a few inches shorter and I would mistake you as a teenage version of Gloria Arroyo.
3.) Lucy Torres
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| Image source: ABSCBNNews.com |
Really? That's the best you got for a dress? It looks like a table cloth smeared with garlic seasoning. If you want me to point out an eye-catching dress, this is definitely not it. No offense, but the costume choice is horrid. You don't even fit with the woman beside you. Let's just get on with it.
4.) Jinkee Pacquiao
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| Image source: ABSCBNNews.com |
Oh, great! Another rejected costume for the Higantes festival. Honestly, this dress screams more festive and less professional. This is a dress for crazy dancing while waving your arms like you have been tasered. Why is this even in the top 10?
5.) Tootsy Angara
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| Image source: ABSCBNNews.com |
Like the dress. No more comment.
6.) Heart Evangelista
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| Image source: ABSCBNNews.com |
Also like it, but please don't make the sleeves look like a dead sampaguita.
7.) Grace Poe
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| Image source: ABSCBNNews.com |
Love the simplicity. However, the image of the palay, maybe a little more work.
8.) Shalani Soledad
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| Image source: ABSCBNNews.com |
Ok, why are these women at the bottom of the damn list, when they should be at the top?
9.) Sol Aragones
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| Image source: ABSCBNNews.com |
Ok, I do not like the fact that people like her come to these events with flashy dresses, but I really have to admit. Her dress captivated me. She's like a maiden of ice cream land, sweet but mysterious.
10.) Liza Marcos
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| Image source: ABSCBNNews.com |
.................................
Why is she here?
And there you have it. The ABS CBN has once proven itself why it remains on top of the media chain. I hope you enjoyed these mindless attempts at reconstructing the very definition of comedy and fun. Like always, do let me know if I made any sort of error in this article. However, if there are errors in the subjective content of my criticism, do not even try. If you are part of the list and you are either offended or delighted by this, I just want to say: "You deserved it!"
References:
1.) http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/lifestyle/07/27/15/look-10-best-dressed-women-sona-2015
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